An Ode to the iPhone
When I first heard about your release my heart palpitated.
Then I found out I had to switch providers to have you.
I couldn’t justify a change, so I waited patiently hoping there would be a day when you could be mine.
For years there was speculation that you would be available to more,
So I waited longer and less patiently.
The announcement was made that you could be mine, and my heart skipped a beat.
My contract wasn’t up for another 7 months, thus making your purchase price unaffordable.
I lamented to my brother who reminded me that our parents were about to renew their phones.
I begged, stressed out and pleaded with my parents to allow me to use my Grandfather’s upgrade.
Squeals of unbridled joy when they agreed, yet more waiting.
The minutes seemed like hours, the days, eternities and then my Blackberry stopped working.
Oh, woe is me!
The postman came on a crisp late winter afternoon.
I stalked his path as he sauntered up to our door and I intercepted the package meant for the stoop.
My name and address, written in my mother’s unmistakable handwriting it was in my hot little hands.
I got both babies nay all three babies into the house as quickly as I could.
The brown package and knowledge that humans needed diaper changes still separated us.
I attended to my charges and opened my parcel as quickly as I could.
She shined like the sun, her ebony case as slick as 1980’s furniture.
I plugged her in and our love affair began.
Oh, iPhone, my sweet distraction, my outlet, my savior from isolation, my connector.
My life is improved with you as a part.
My true, yet ridiculous account about how I feel about my phone.